New Weight Loss Programme from Nixco.
Following on the success of our Cardiofasterization Programme, Nixco are proud to present :
"Spintoff"
an exercise and weight loss programme.
Step one.
Buy or otherwise obtain a serviceable bicycle.
Step two.
Ride bicycle first thing in the morning between the months of November and March.
Step three. Do not sniff.
Mucus is stuffed full of glycoconjugates, and what are the first two syllables of glycoconjugates - yes Glyco and we all know what that means - Sugar!
So by not sniffing and therefore reingesting that mucus, you are contributing to significant sugar- and therefore weight- loss.
Nixco provide a fantastic range of accessories for those on the Spintoff programme, these include the Twin-Tube Loogey Luge with volumetric backpack, for those who want to quantify their weight loss.
The Spintoff Moustache, made from a material developed by NASA for spacesuit gussetting, capable of absorbing 2550 times its weight in fluid (available in a range of colours, including "flesh" for the ladies.
And for those who wish to go "au naturel " Spintoff Mucoff detergent.